The Crazy Drivers We See While Traveling Across The Country
“The Wife” and I travel north to south and back with the 5er (fifth wheel trailer) and see some seriously crazy drivers. Here are a few of our favorites:
Neat looking and sneaky police cars. As we came around a corner in Nevada, there sat a dark maroon Camaro with smoked out windows and straight plates. Beautiful vehicle. In a small town in Eastern Oregon, parked in an empty lot by the highway was an old black and white late 90’s Ford Crown Vic with a mannequin inside. The best part of this was the original bubble gum light bar on the top and Trooper Hat on the mannequin. Visitors beware. Huge black and white Hummer (the real thing not the little ones) with chrome wheels, hide away lights and the word “County Sheriff” on the door.
Back In The Day
Back in my day, before retirement from the Washington State Patrol, I was issued a Ford Mustang 5.0 pursuit car. Great car for fun. It had way too much power and would smoke the tires, short wheelbase with huge wide tires. It would spin easily on snow and ice (not always a good thing). Great brakes, if you wanted the front to stop and the back end to lift entirely off the ground. It had a tiny cockpit, very small back seat to haul bad guys, hardly any trunk for radio equipment and other gear. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in those days. The photo above is of my friend, Marlin Workman’s, Mustang. You may see it in a car show.
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Some crazy drivers that we, as RV’ers, have seen …..Big guy in the inside lane on I-90 in Washington. He was leaned way back in his seat so he could barely see over the steering wheel. His head was way back, cap on backwards, sunglasses in position. I think he was looking through the bottoms of his eyeballs at the road. Solid 69 mph in the 70 zone, with his left front tire stuck to the inside yellow line. Lots of people were trying to get around him. However, he did not appear to be concerned or even aware there was anyone else on the road.
A pedal car (Fiat 500) or something like, driven by a teenage girl who was about 3 feet behind a 53 foot semi trailer. She was stuck to his bumper, like bikers in the old days that were drafting the trailer. Can you imagine what would have happened if the trucker would have stopped?
Construction Zones Get Interesting
Construction zone stuff is always fun. Some states have great signage about what to expect. Others have so much signage that no can figure out what to do at all. Plus, with too much signage comes the obligatory “cones everywhere” situation. No pattern, no clear direction where to go, your guess is as good as mine maybe? Crossovers on freeways are fun too. Ok, let’s take everyone going east and cross them over and put them head on with those people going west.
Maybe we put a couple of orange traffic cones or paint a fake centerline so no one gets hit. Then we add some jersey barricades just to help confuse people. Top it off with reducing the lane width to 9 feet. The F350 dually and the 38 foot fifth wheel are 8 feet 6 inches wide. This just to increase the pucker factor and to make sure everyone can thread the needle. Add the dark of night, some seriously misplaced flashing lights, cones fallen over, some with broken flashing lights, workmen in reflective suits and it just becomes a “grand driving experience.”
Best that we can say is we caution all of our fellow RV travelers to take your time, enjoy the views and have a laugh like we do. And feel free to share stories of the crazy drivers that you see. Stay tuned, I may write more.
OH, yes, I forgot the guy doing about 128 mph (according to my retired Trooper calibrated speed calculating eyeballs) and swerving all over the lane in his old beater blowing blue smoke. I’m not sure who he was running from or who he just robbed, but he wasn’t going to get far at that rate. I didn’t see him crash or blow up, so we will never know.
Guest Blog by “The Husband”