More Great and Crazy Sights We See In Our RV Travels
NoniKay and I get hours of windshield time and have more and more crazy sights we see in our RV travels. This year has been Arizona to Montana to Washington and lots of points in between. Here are my observations of other drivers. After 30 years in law enforcement, mostly on the road as a State Trooper, I tend to get SNARKY, please don’t hold it against me.
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So I see all these stick figure families on the backs of soccer Mom and Dad vans and suburbans. Saw one where the Dad stick had been scraped off. Kinda clear what happened there. Another one showed Dad stick, Mom stick and 6 dogs and 3 cats. Stinky car inside there and barely room across the rear window. No kid sticks just animals. Kind of an odd stick figure family.
I loved the Star Wars X Wing stick blowing up the regular Family of 5 stick. Saw a cartoon the other day, in Glacier Park, Two Stick Bears looking at the Stick family on the window and one bear says, “I like the new menu.” My favorite, a black and white Police car with K-9 all over it. There was a Policeman Stick and a German Shepard Stick on the back window. That was awesome.
I loved the Star Wars X Wing stick blowing up the regular Family of 5 stick. #stickfigurefamilies Click To Tweet
State Trooper 128 MPH Steering With My Knees
Now that I’m retired I will confess, yes, State Troopers drive so many hours and continually so fast on the same roads that we become experts on all of the above. Three or four times per shift, I drove in excess of 130 mph on the roads of Eastern Washington. Lots of calls and lots of miles to cover. I will confess to responding to a call at 128 MPH steering with my knees, balancing my coffee, holding the last gulping bites of my burger and talking on the police radio. Yep lights and siren while finishing my lunch break. I’m sure there is SOP on that somewhere? Now that I have confessed, let me relate some conversations that NoniKay and I had while driving.
NoniKay and My Conversations or What Did She Say?
We all know that men and women speak entirely different languages. She wrote a wonderful story about that and was entirely accurate. So now its my turn to relate some of NoniKay and my conversations while driving. I see her pushing on the cruise control button and finally she says, “damn, now we are out of fluid.” and throws both hands in the air. It’s pouring down rain. I say, “try the washer fluid on the end of the blinker handle and not the cruise button.” Total silence. On a very familiar road on the Freeway. She takes the exit and then instead of going down the frontage road toward the kids’ house, she takes the entrance back onto the freeway. Quietly I say, “did you really want to go back on the freeway?” Pretty quiet until the next off ramp, then we laugh and laugh. My turn. So I am driving into the sunset and looking all over the place in the cab as she is watching me. Finally I say, “have you seen my sunglasses?” She smiles sweetly and says “yes.” Finally I say, “ok, where are they?” And she very softly (without laughing at me at all) says, “on your head.” Doh!!! Is it my age or just the accompanying grey hair?
Mileposts and Exit Signs and Hot and Cold Temps
She is driving home to our wonderful 5th wheel where we live full time. So I call her, “How soon will you be here?” “I don’t know.” I say, “Which milepost are you at?” She says, “I don’t know.” Just so everyone knows, there is a post with green numbers exactly every mile. “Ok milepost 203”. I say to her, “Aww you are 3 miles from one exit, 7 miles to the rest area and 48 miles from home. Btw exit numbers are generally the same as the milepost numbers. Numbered from west to east and south to north.” She says, “only retired State Patrol guys would know that.” My response, “bye honey, drive safe and I’ll be glad to see you when you get home.” She is driving and I say, “What do you mean, which exit? We have been here a million times?” She responds, “But I wasn’t driving those times so I didn’t pay attention to the exit.” Now I’m very snarky and my smart mouth wins out over the brake in my brain and I say, “Well you could check those huge blue signs that say gas, food, motels and what street.” She calmly replies, “why should I do that, when I have a husband right here who can just tell me.” “That makes perfect sense,” I reply. Her response, “Exactly.”
Maybe Overdid It Just A Bit?
Does this happen between you and your spouse? We are driving along and she says, “are you cold?” I know that actually means, “I am cold and would like to turn the heat up.” And I respond, “a little bit.” So she reaches over and punches the heater on high and then turns up the digital temperature up 14 degrees. About 49 seconds later, she reaches over and turns it down 12 degrees and says, “I guess I overdid it a bit.” I kinda nod. She has done that ever since I’ve known her and yep, it’s the same with the furnace and the air conditioner in the house too. I could go on and on and often I do, but not today. We are not going to talk about panhandlers, dogs running loose on farm trucks, or how a car can run into a 36 foot wide, 13 foot high bright green farm tractor on a straight flat road on a sunny day. Or the bridge that says has a HUGE yellow sign that says 13-0 with a 14-2 semi crammed underneath it. Or the Military convoy hauling an Army Tank stuck under the SR 17 Moses Lake overpass on I-90. (Because you don’t want to hear the gentlemanly conversation the Army Captain had with the unhappy State Patrol Sergeant.)
Snarky Jumped Right Out!
Once again my snarkiness overrode the brake on my mouth and I let him have it. And yes, this unhappy State Patrol Sergeant, explained how he DEFINITELY was indeed going to let all the (
redacted) air out of all the ( redacted) tires on his green lowboy to get his damn tank off of my freeway. Yes, there was smoke rolling out from under my State Patrol Blue Troopers Campaign Smokey Bear Hat. So what is the conversation with your spouse as you travel our wonderful world in your RV? Do you communicate the same? Do you see more crazy drivers? Share your thoughts and observations and remember drive safe. And thanks for riding along in my brain.