Nuns in the golf cart, a Felony Forest in a Tinkertoy and “go the other way, it’s the cops.” A guest post from The Husband, Retired State Trooper, RVer, grandpa and now a homeowner again. We drive a lot and love to just see what curiosities pop up along the way.
Nuns in the Golf Cart
We are driving on the construction detour by the Spokane River and I look over at Downriver Golf Course and I see three Nuns in the Golf Cart and one Nun ready to hit a 5 iron. We are close to the Holy Names Convent at Fort Wright College (Spokane Falls Community College), so I know there are Sisters there. But, I have never seen Nuns playing golf. I look over to double check my eyes (trained police observer, you know) and yep there they are. Full regalia, long dresses, Flying hats and everything, she’s getting ready to knock another one down the middle of the fairway.
Now when I golf, I play from side to side, often in the rough. This lady (Mother, Sister??) was dead center after a long shot right down the middle. I have a strong Christian faith and pray a lot about regular things, wife, kids, grandkids, health, appreciation for so many blessings in my life. When I golf, I usually don’t pray. More like just hit the damn thing hard and hope it goes long and straight. Which brings me to the question of the day: Do Nuns pray for a great shot, or do they just save it up for the more important stuff? I should ask one of these days. Maybe I will, the next time I see Nuns in the golf cart.When I golf, I usually don't pray. More like just hit the damn thing hard and hope it goes long and straight. Click To Tweet
A Felony Forest in a Tinkertoy Parked Behind the McDonalds
I am positive that all my law enforcement friends know the term “Felony Forest”. But lots of the more civilian type of citizens haven’t heard the term. So prepare for a small education in the world of pot, weed, marijuana.
As NoniKay and I were traveling from Leavenworth back to Spokane after looking at the amazing fall colors, we pulled into a McDonalds to get a drink of water and use their facilities. Pull in, park, and I look over to the right and there is a Felony Forest, hanging from the rear view mirror of the Tinkertoy we were parked beside.
For pot smokers, especially back in the day before it was legal in Washington State, it was a sign of a “higher calling” to have a bunch of the Little Tree Air Fresheners hanging from the rearview mirror. Yep, the bigger the stack, the bigger the Forest. A huge forest is known in law enforcement circles as a Felony Forest. More trees, to cover the odor, the more pot. We even used that term in our police reports. Anyway two employees on their break, a third kid comes up and gets in and they light up. Because you know “you deserve a break today.”
What Kind of Car is a Tinkertoy
You may wonder about the Tinkertoy designation. Long story. Many years ago one of the old crusty veteran State Troopers I worked with stopped a speeder. Young kid, dirty, skinny, ratty looking in a tiny older Toyota Corolla that was beat up on every corner, dents all over, one headlight hanging out and pointing down and appeared to be held together with duct tape and baling wire. I think the kid was driving about 90 on a narrow two lane 55 mph state highway. So my partner the Veteran State Trooper walks up and of course the kid says “what did I do wrong officer?” The Trooper replies, with his very dry and very slow quiet voice, “well Ace, you can’t be flying this Tinkertoy down the highway at 90.”
It is still hilarious to this day, in my mind. Especially if you knew the dry humor of this 20 plus year veteran Trooper. Anyway, the kid gets a ticket and goes on his way, only to make an official complaint a couple of months later that he was “offended when the cop called me Ace and said my car was a Tinkertoy.” So my friend gets a counseling slip from the Sarge not to call the public Ace and not to call their cars a Tinkertoy. At least it didn’t have a felony forest inside.
Look out Henrietta “It’s the Cops”
A left turn, hit the brakes, quick U-turn because “it’s the cops”, ok, I’ll explain. The wife is driving and I’m kinda looking around. We turn left off the Highway onto a little city street. In front of us is a dented primer gray really old and rattly Ford pickup with no license plates and no tailgate. Lady driving with her arm hanging out the window and no seat belt of course.
Up ahead about a block are 3 city patrol cars with all their lights going stopped outside a tavern. I figured they were probably at a bar fight and didn’t see any officers outside. The lady driving the old truck (too big to be called a Tinkertoy, but same quality of vehicle) all of a sudden sees the police cars, slams on the brakes (no lights of course) and makes an abrupt almost on two wheels U-turn with a huge grin on her face. I see her look back to make sure she has eluded detection.
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Yep, a classic case of “go the other way, it’s the cops.” I will never know for sure, but I will bet my pension that she at least had arrest warrants and a Suspended Driver License.
Anyway, after nearly 30 years working patrol, I still see new and exciting things on the road. Even Nuns in a golf cart.